Hi everybody! I hope you all had a fantastic weekend. I spent much-needed time with my baby girl and husband. Rowan is starting to crawl and I can hardly believe it!
Sadly, weekends always fly by. It’s always hard to go back to work on Monday morning…but hey, there’s plenty of daylight left today so let’s not get too down about it 😉
So here’s something exciting: today I have the honor of introducing an awesome mommy-blogger, Sheyla Knigge! She’s a young momma like myself, and she’s totally smart, fun, and inspirational! I think you’ll love her honesty and openness. Read on!
How I Learned My Child’s Love Language
by: Sheyla Knigge
You’ve heard about love languages, right? You know, the ways that we show our affection for one another? There are five love languages in all– gift giving, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, and quality time. Now, over the last few years of my marriage I’ve taken internet quizzes to tell me what mine and my husbands were, but I never stopped to think about what they were for my daughter. That is, until one night as I was getting her ready for bed, and she said, “I wish you would play with me.”
It was the saddest thing in that moment, hearing those words. I felt like I would cry, as if I were failing my daughter by not playing with her the way she wanted to. I had been realizing that the last few weeks had been a little rough on her. We gave birth to our son in early March and she was still adjusting; saying things like, “I wish I was still a baby.” I had originally thought that she was regressing a little in the way they say happens when a new baby is introduced into the family, but I was wrong. I hadn’t realized I was neglecting my daughter in her own love language– quality time.
It wasn’t something I grasped until that night at bedtime. My husband had been helping more with her since her brother was born, and I thought everything was fine. She began to cling to him, which I just felt was her growing into a daddy’s girl, and that was okay. However, when my husband started working overtime in the evenings I realized she wanted more of me. That wasn’t a problem. The problem was that every time my daughter wanted my time or attention her brother was nursing, or needed to be changed, or I just felt too tired to play any sort of games.
I knew I needed to remedy this. I needed to make a concentrated effort to spend more one on one time with my daughter daily. I told my husband what I wanted to do, made a list of inexpensive mommy daughter dates and activities for the two of us, and wrote down a schedule so that I can maximize my time with her while her brother sleeps. It isn’t always easy. There are days when I feel overtired and it’s easier to turn on Moana than it is to play one on one, but it’s more rewarding to see the look on her face when I take her out to enjoy an activity or play one on one with her.
It’s a process, for sure. Raising kids is hard. Raising two kids and remembering that they both need your full attention is harder. At the end of the day though, it is so gratifying to feel as if I’ve done all I can to make her feel loved by acknowledging her love language, and putting in the extra time. Babies grow fast, and our love languages change. In a few years, who knows if she’ll still want quality time with her mommy.
Psst…If you loved Sheyla’s post, check out her blog:
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